Hybrid Parent

Solo parenting is the toughest thing I have ever done in my life. Being both a mom and dad in the household is considerably more challenging than I ever could’ve imagined especially when it comes to discipline.

My childhood was nourishing in aspects of adolescent involvement in extracurriculars from dance, ballet, jazz, cheerleading, t-ball you name it. My parents were extremely hard working and my sibling and I lacked for nothing. Although I was flourishing in activities, I was suffering internally because of the constant turmoil at home which ultimately ended in divorce.

My daughter never knew a life other than being just with me. Her biological father has been in and out of her life, so I have raised her since birth. With it being just us, we have made our own rules, in a way, for how we manage our lives and home. This may have been the exact reason of failure in my parenting tactics.

I have always tried to give her the very best of everything. She had the most precious nursery, sweet decorations, filled with antique heirlooms displayed beautifully on the dresser tops. She had the best outfits and accessories and all the educational toys a developing child would need. To the best of my ability, I have given her the world because she is my world. Now, that she is 6 years old, the past few years have been difficult to say the least. She is demanding, defiant and clingy. She also suffers with severe separation anxiety. I believe that I have crafted these dilemmas over the years by overcompensating with leniency when it came to discipline. Since it is only me, I have to be the authority figure, making sure I put my foot down as well as being her safe place with a warm and comforting demeanor. Its particularly difficult to set strict boundaries while trying not to hurt her feelings. I don’t want her to feel the void of not having her father around so I have overcorrected with my parenting approach and now we are in a terrible spot where we are both unhappy. How do I show her how much I love her and still have limitations?